


gotta match ‘em all

by necking



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, aged!up they’re like. 23 probably, it’s a tinder au, kinda a crack!fic, marinette and adrien don’t know each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-03-09 20:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18924388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/necking/pseuds/necking
Summary: Alya convinces Marinette to get Tinder, and Adrien’s just a little obsessed with the app. Regular young adult professionals antics ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys !!! i had this idea floating around what with my constant relationship with the app LMAOO i hope i finish it

It’d been approximately 3 weeks since Marinette left her house for something other than work or Ladybug obligations, which also meant it was the third time she’d declined Alya’s offer to go out, get some drinks, and take her mind off certain _things,_ rather, certain _boys._ While Marinette appreciated her best friend’s concern, she just really wasn’t in the mood to go clubbing and, inevitably, make another mistake she’d probably end up regretting for the next five years. Not that she thought that there was anything wrong with going out. She just wasn’t the best company when drunk (and maybe just a teeny bit depressed.)

“C’mon girl, it’s been almost a month since Luka dumped you.”

Marinette visibly flinched at the mention of the blue haired boy, and Alya frowned.

“Sorry, I mean, he-who-must-not-be-named. Voldemort for short, I guess.”

Alya grinned at Marinette then, obviously noticing the freckled girl trying to subtly fight her own grin.

“I know,” Marinette sighed dejectedly, sinking further down into her couch, pulling the throw over her head. “I just, I don’t know. I don’t feel like going out, okay?”

“So we won’t.”

Marinette popped back up from under then, eyes narrowed, just to show her friend that she was interested in what she had to say but was still reasonably suspicious. Knowing Alya, there was no way there was no catch to this.

“Look, I know you’re not exactly in the best state right now to go out, so we don’t have to. But,” Marinette’s eyes narrowed even further, “who’s to say it would hurt if we just… checked out what was on the market? Surveyed your options?”

“What do you mean by that?”

Alya’s face morphed into one of pure sly energy that only _Swiper the Fox_ could embody, and Marinette was suddenly reminded just _how much_ the fox miraculous suited her best friend, before her face switched quickly into one of nonchalance, and Marinette was left wondering if she’d imagined the first expression.

“ _Tinder_ ,” Alya said simply, and Marinette frowned at that, unable to think of a reason against it.

“I don’t know, Alya.”

“It wouldn’t hurt! The great thing about it is, if you don’t feel like you’re vibing with the person, you can just unmatch them! You choose if you wanna take it further than just the app, and, you don’t even need to reply to them if you don’t want to! Everything is under your control!”

Well. When put that way, it didn’t sound too bad. But Marinette wasn’t completely sold on the idea, and the thought of putting herself back out there didn’t sit well in her stomach. It wasn’t like Luka had torn her heart out and stomped on it mercilessly. In fact, their breakup had been mutual, and could’ve been predicted months beforehand. There was just no spark between them anymore. Logically, she shouldn’t feel guilty at all.

“Look, if you really don’t want to, that’s fine. We can stay in again and watch Thumbelina or something. But I don’t want to hear you complain about how Jacquimo should’ve just flown her home when he found her in the first place again-“

“No.”

“Okay, I mean, I get your point, but there would be no movie if he just brought her home in the first five minutes-“

“I mean, no, I don’t to watch Thumbelina again.”

“You wanna watch something Disney instead-?”

“No, Alya,” Marinette chuckled, “I mean, let’s do your idea. Let’s download _Tinder_ on my phone.”

“Really?” Alya asked, and Marinette could see this was the most excited the girl had been since her breakup from Luka. Her patience with Marinette was honestly astounding. She felt a rush of affection for her friend.

“Really.” Marinette said, handing her phone to Alya.

The redhead snatched her phone and got to work quickly, probably trying to get it all done before Marinette could change her mind. Alya had it set up in under five minutes, choosing to connect her account to her Facebook account, keeping only three of Marinette’s most recent profile pictures, and added two from Marinette’s camera roll from fashion events she’d worked at, just to add variety to her profile.

Just as she was about to hand the phone back to its owner, Alya paused. “Can I swipe for you? Please?”

“Yeesh, is Nino not up to par right now?”

“Definitely _not_ that,” Alya winked, and Marinette pretended to gag, “I’m just a veteran for this kind of stuff. Best if a pro like me shows you the ropes first.”

Marinette couldn’t argue with that. Alya had been with Nino, whom she met on Tinder, for the past three years. To be fair, it did help a little bit that Marinette also happened to be his childhood friend, but Marinette didn’t want Alya to lose her excitement. So, she sighed, and let _Swiper_ do the swiping.

At first, Marinette hovered close by, wanting to make sure Alya understood what her type was. She wanted to make sure Alya _knew_ what she was doing. Four matches and two conversations that’d gone awry later, ( _no, Alya, you_ can’t _ask him if he’s a toesucker!)_ Alya finally paused at one particular profile, piquing Marinette’s interest. What made this guy so special? Sure, he was good looking, but so were a bunch of other guys on the app.

“Doesn’t he look familiar?” Alya asked, squinting at the boy’s pictures.

“A blond French dude? Not unheard of,” Marinette said, bored again, “also, you’ve got it set to 1km, so maybe we’ve seen him around, somewhere.”

“No, girl, look at him, though. I think he’s famous or something.”

The blue haired girl frowned but leaned in anyway to get a closer look. He _did_ look familiar. Blond hair, green eyes, modelled at _Agreste_ Industries, and his name- “Adrien?” she said aloud.

The two girls shared a look then, before both their eyes widened in realization.

“Isn’t he the guy-“

“-on all those perfume ads?” Alya finished.

Marinette didn’t even need her phone to look that up. She _knew_ that was him. Adrien Agreste, the guy the _Agreste_ perfume was named after, the guy she had a short but intense crush on in _seconde,_ when Alya and her would cut out pictures of boys from magazines to make collages out of. She barely had time to react to the profile when Alya _super liked_ him.

“ _Alya-!“_

“What?” Her friend said innocently, knowing full well she was in trouble.

“You can’t just- why did you- you super liked him!”

“Yeah, and?”

“You can’t do that!”

“Why not? You made a collage of him once.”

“We were fifteen!”

“Yeah, and we’re twenty-three now. What if your fifteen-year old self was right, and he _is_ the love of your life?”

“I- whatever,” Marinette said, rolling her eyes. It _was_ just _Tinder,_ and like Alya said earlier, everything _was_ under her (Alya’s?) control. It wasn’t like anything was going to happen. “You’re not swiping anymore.”

Alya grumbled but handed the phone back.

“Spoilsport.”

-

Adrien Agreste was a catch. He knew it, his friends knew it, hell, everybody and their mum knew it. A model with a heart of gold, and heir to the Agreste fashion line, (who also masqueraded as a superhero when duty called) no one would expect him to have _Tinder._ Lord knows he didn’t need help in the finding-a-date department. But with all his obligations and things that _made_ him a catch, he didn’t exactly have time to find _romance_ in his regular day-to-day life. And that was why Chloé Bourgeois, his childhood ex-girlfriend, now turned best friend, recommended he download the dating app.

“It’s a good ego boost,” Chloé had said. “And with all the crap you have to do, it’s certainly an… acceptable substitute for not being able to go out and mingle.”

So, really, it didn’t take him much convincing to download it. Now, though, after about a week of having the app, he was just a _little_ bit addicted to it. Whenever he had free time, the first thing he did was grab his phone so he could open up the app and get to swiping. It was almost like a fun game, a version of _Pokémon Go_ , except you swipe right or left instead of up, and you colleceted matches instead of _Pokémon_. _Gotta match ‘em all_ , he thought, and chuckled to himself. Damn, he was punny.

He grabbed his phone from his nightstand, ready to settle in and swipe again after a long day of modelling. The flame icon flashed on his screen, indicating he’d gotten a notication from _Tinder. You’ve been super liked!_ It read on his lock screen. It wasn’t an uncommon message for him to see, but he was still excited, nonetheless. The novelty of it all, probably.

He quickly unlocked his phone through the notification and started swiping, choosing to swipe left until he could find the familiar blue star to see which girl had the confidence to willingly show vulnerability like that to him. It was always fun for him to guess whether the super like was an accident or not, and to see what kinds of girls he attracted.

After a few minutes of swiping, he finally found the girl who’d super liked him. _Marinette, 23. 4km away._ Well, he sure _hoped_ the super like wasn’t an accident. The girl was cute. She had a heart shaped face and dark hair with light blue eyes, and, he wasn’t really sure from the quality of the photos, but it looked like she also had a light smattering of freckles all around her nose and cheeks. She seemed to share an interest in fashion with him, if the photos of her with various fashion designers and models had any indication. Unlike other girls he had dated, she seemed like a nice, take her home to meet your parents kind of girl. Her bio was pretty funny, too ( _my dad is a baker, so yes, I Do™ have the nicest set of buns you will ever see.)_ He swiped right and closed the _it’s a match!_ message that popped up. Content with his day’s work, he yawned and plugged his phone into its charger, shifting over now so he could sleep.

He could message Marinette from _Tinder_ in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Chat, are you on…    
>  __  
>  Tinder?”   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys i completely forgot wtf i was planning to do with my outline so hopefully all this works out in the end

* * *

While his civilian self was very popular and _desired,_ Adrien’s superhero self had significantly… less attention. Still, for some unknown reason to the man, he felt more confident in his alter ego. And, with his recent addiction to _Tinder_ , no one could really blame him for downloading it on not just his civilian phone, but also his superhero phone.

“Chat, are you on… _Tinder?”_

His partner, Ladybug, stared down at him incredulously from the string she was dangling on, before retrieving her yo-yo back to her hands and landing softly on her feet next to him. They were meant to meet for patrol that night, so Chat hadn’t even flinched when she’d caught him red handed swiping like a mad man. There was a swipe surge going on. He _had_ to take advantage. 

“Yeah, problem with that?”

“Well, no, except you’re using your baton for it.” 

“Can’t bring my civilian phone with me. It’s in my pocket somewhere.” A pause. “My civilian pocket.” 

“So you downloaded it on your superhero phone?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. Wanna swipe for me?”

If she was annoyed before, it no longer showed on her face. Ladybug grabbed his phone immediately, all pretense of disapproval conveniently gone, and began swiping. Clearly, he wasn’t the only one obsessed with the app. 

“What? Always wanted to see what _Tinder_ looked like on a guy’s phone,” she clarified, when Chat raised a brow at her. 

He chuckled, and followed her when she moved to sit on the edge of the random building they’d chosen to meet up on that night. Her legs dangled over the edge, and she swung them childishly, her tongue sticking out slightly as she got to work on his phone. 

“I was trying to get at least one more match before you got here, but for some reason, the algorithm is seriously messed up right now.”

“‘Don’t think it’s the algorithm,” she scoffed, like he wasn’t meant to hear it. 

“Hey! I’ll have you know that ladies happen to think I’m the _cat’s meow_.” 

She tapped the upper right icon on the screen, checking up on his interactions with the people he’d matched with, and laughed. “Your match count says otherwise.” It wasn’t like it was low, but compared to his civilian phone, it was, admittedly, a noticeable difference in numbers. 

“I just don’t swipe right a lot, okay?”

“Sure thing, Chat.” 

He pouted and crossed his arms. It wasn’t his fault less people were interested in dating a superhero than his civilian self. Maybe it was the way he set up his profile? Was it too memey, maybe? Did no one want to date Chat Noir, or did people just think it was a joke profile?

“If you’re such an expert, then d’you wanna edit my profile, make some adjustments so I get more matches?” 

“You know we can’t know each other’s identities.”

“That’s not gonna be a problem.”

“What-“ she started, but then her eyes widened, and she looked like she didn’t know whether to scold him, or laugh for the next 84 years. “-you _didn’t_. You set up a _Tinder_ as Chat Noir?” 

He stayed silent, watching her tap the upper left icon to confirm that, yes, he did indeed create an account under his alter ego. 

“Oh my god,” Ladybug groaned, her face in her hands, but a smile on her lips. “You’re such an idiot. Now how’s anybody going to take us seriously?”

“That’s the thing! I don’t think anyone takes that account seriously, which explains the serious lack of matches.”

“So we're back to square one! Just make one for your civilian self!”

“I have…” he muttered, but it was clear she heard him anyway. 

“No matches there either, huh?” 

It wasn’t a lack of matches, it was more… a lack of conversation and feeling. He knew what he must look like as a civilian, a young, rich model who probably wasn’t looking to date, despite the lack of shirtless pictures on his profile. But girls still only wanted no strings commitments from him, or they just never responded to his messages. He just wanted to finally be able to connect with someone. 

“It’s not that, I just feel like girls have been swiping on me for the wrong reasons.”

She frowned at him, seeming to sympathize with him. Maybe she hadn’t been getting as much luck either on her own account.

“Okay, let me see what I can do about your profile. When I’m done with it, you’ll be getting plenty of matches in no time! Ladyluck,” she said, by way of explanation, winking at him. 

She brought her legs back up to sit cross legged so she could face him completely. He mirrored her and did the same, watching as she spent the next few minutes fixing up his bio, changing his pictures and switching up the order of them (really, Kitty? Why’re you using photos from Google images when you have some on your baton?) before handing it back to him. 

“There,” she said, smiling as he took his phone back from her. “Try swiping now. I know _I_ wouldn’t be able to resist swiping right.” 

He smiled back at her, not thinking much about the heat that spread over his face after she’d said that. He swiped left a few times, before Marinette showed up again. _Huh._  She hadn’t messaged him as Adrien yet, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try his luck now? Without really thinking, he swiped right. 

“Get a match?” Ladybug asked, when she noticed his hand make the familiar motion that indicated he swiped right. 

“Not yet,” he said, feeling hopeful despite his phone showing that it’d just brought up the next person’s card. Maybe some of Ladybug’s luck _would_ rub off on him. 

“I’m sure she just hasn’t seen your card yet,” she reassured him, and he really believed it.

Feeling like he’d done enough swiping for the time being, he extended his baton so it was his height, and rested it on the ground. “Hopefully,” he agreed, “but for now, let’s get to patrolling. Thanks for editing my profile, Bugaboo.” 

“Pleasure’s mine, Kitty.” 

He grinned at the nickname, and felt his heart soar at his newfound hope in his dating app. So what if he swiped right on the same girl on two different accounts? It didn’t have to be a problem if he didn’t let it. What could possibly go wrong?

-

Most days, Marinette chose the extra twenty minutes of sleep over breakfast, but yesterday morning, she noticed  _Adrien Agreste_ matched with her, which meant that she’d spent all day and stayed up all night figuring out whether or not she should message him. There were a lot of variables she had to consider.

One, was his profile real, or not? Was he just a catfish, or was the profile she’d matched with actually Adrien Agreste? Why else would he have matched with her if he _wasn’t_ a catfish? Jeez. Maybe she had some self esteem issues she hadn’t even really thought about.

Two, if his profile _was_ real, which it probably wasn’t, what should she say?

She stared down at her left hand holding her phone, her blank DMs with him staring right back at her. Her right hand was brainlessly spooning her oatmeal with cut up apple slices into her mouth. Maybe going through his profile one more time wouldn’t hurt, even though the amount of times she’d done so in the last ten hours had been a little ridiculous.

This is what she knew by now: He had four pictures- one of him walking down a runway, two of them professional photos from random magazines, and one last mirror selfie of him. If she had to guess by the cartoons floating around his head, it had to have been his Instagram story at some point. 

She pressed the down arrow button for the millionth time to send her back to her blank DMs with him again, only to see the grey three dotted bubble pop up. The first thing she felt was panic. What was happening? Could he see her? No, that’s stupid, it was just an app! Wait. Could he see that she’s seen it? Were there read receipts-?

Before she could even panic her way out of the app, a message from Adrien was sent. 

_Adrien 7:18AM: I’ve been told I’m pretty cheesy. Do you like cheese with your buns?_

If it’d been any other guy, Marinette probably would’ve unmatched him on the spot. Puns were too tacky. But this was _Adrien Agreste_ , and no matter _what_ she told Alya about it having been just a juvenile crush, Marinette still had eyes and this boy was too cute to pass up. There was too much history behind his name, and for her to unmatch him would only put fifteen year old Mari to shame. 

After a quick Google search about whether or not Tinder had read receipts, (they didn’t, not unless you paid for premium but she doubted anyone, much less Adrien would ever pay for that) she typed out a few responses before deleting them all, unhappy with how they sounded. Did she even care about this, or was he just a pretty face? How could she even know that this was really Adrien, and not joke profile? 

Pulling up Safari once more to Google his name and look at the images, it was clear that three of his pictures were taken from the first page of the results. She could only confirm her suspicions that his mirror selfie, which was the only unprofessional photo he had, was a screenshot of the model’s Instagram story from once upon a time.

Frowning, she exited their DMs without responding, and took back to swiping. 

After a few dejected left swipes to get her mind off of the model she talked herself into writing off despite having spent all night ruminating over, she finally came to a stop at a familiar face. 

Or rather, familiar black mask. 

_Chat Noir, 23, 4km away._

Well, she _did_ say she would swipe right. What are the chances, anyway, that-

 _It’s a match!_   

Of course that boy couldn’t just be attracted to not only her superhero self, but also her civilian self. She chuckled at his attraction to her even without the mask, trying to distract herself from thinking about whether that was cute or not, before sending him a quick message without much thought. It wasn’t like she had any other prospects, anyway. 

She slipped her phone into her pocket before moving to clear her dishes. What was the worst that could happen? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> their dumbasses: wHatS tHe WoRsT tHaT cOuLd HapPeN ?
> 
> did not proofread lmk if something is often lol
> 
> thanks for reading !!!
> 
> follow me on tumblr: purplechats.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed that !! follow me on tumblr: purplechats.tumblr.com and scream w me about this show !!
> 
> don’t forget to leave comments and kudos xoxo


End file.
